'A part of me was crying for freedom': The people embracing their stutter

Eighty million people around the world have a natural stammer. Krupa Padhy speaks to those who've decided to embrace it – and discovers surprising benefits.

It was the summer of 2011 and Joshua St Pierre was working in Edmonton, Canada. He was mid-conversation when he realised the other person wasn't listening. It was a moment that changed his life.

St Pierre has a stammer, and until then, had always focused on trying to speak as fluently as he could, to make it more comfortable for others to listen to him. But now, he began to wonder if it was fair for him to be the one doing all the work – and what a more balanced effort might feel like.

"I I I, like most people, spent most of my l lifetime desperately trying to come up to a standard of nooormalcy," says St Pierre, who has asked that his quotes in this article include the words he stammers on. "I was doing a whole lot to try and make other people feel comfortable when it really actually wasn't much about communication itself."

An estimated 80 million people around the world speak with a stammer (also known as a stutter in many countries), meaning, they know what they wish to say, but have difficulty saying the words. Their speech is disrupted by repetitions, pauses or stops. There is still no clear explanation of what exactly causes stammering, but research suggests that the region of the brain responsible for planning and executing our speech functions differently in those with a stammer. 

Many children – between 60-80% – who have a stutter will recover spontaneously. But contrary to popular belief, there isn't a permanent fix to overcoming a stammer. Whilst treatment and are available (such as speech language therapy), a high number of people with stammers may relapse after completing therapy. It can be a life-long effort to suppress a stammer, something US President Joe Biden has spoken about openly.

As St Pierre notes, however, the physical impact is only one aspect of the condition. Another is social and may be more about how stammering is perceived in the mind of the listener. Studies suggest, for example, that people who stammer openly may be considered anxious, nervous or embarrassing, purely because of that speech pattern. In a paper inspired by his conversation in Edmonton, St Pierre, who is now a researcher in critical disability studies at the University of Alberta, Canada, argues that this social perception of stammering as "broken speech" is not really about the stammer itself. It's about the listener's "cultural norms of efficiency, pace, and self-mastery", and their expectations of what successful communication should be like: succinct and fluent. (You can hear St Pierre talk about attitudes towards stammering in his own words later in this article.)

"It's not the fact that having d d d dysfluent speech that causes the breakdown,” argues St Pierre. "It's the way in which these forms of speech aren't able to be taken up within the world and heard urm as speech. That's a really cruel thing, and that's a political thing."

St Pierre and others, including some speech therapists, are suggesting an alternative view of stammering: not as a deficiency, but as a way of speaking that is no better or worse than any others.

In fact, stammering openly can have many benefits, says Courtney Byrd, a professor of speech, language and hearing sciences at the University of Texas at Austin, US. She and her team have been working on a model of treatment that encourages people to stammer with confidence, even if others around them see it as a deficiency.  

"We encourage stuttering openly for effective communication, because when you are avoiding it, you are essentially stifling your own intellect," says Byrd. "I'm going to say [to people who stutter]: you can be the most effective communicator and still openly stutter. And I'm going to show you the path to that. And I also want you to know that no matter where you live, you are going to encounter highly educated people who are completely ignorant about stuttering, and because they are ignorant they are going to treat you ignorantly. They are going to say things that will hurt, and they'll say things to you out of trying to help you."

Byrd gives the example of teachers offering students who stammer the opportunity to pre-record presentations, thinking they are helping them. But not letting them give the presentation live, ultimately puts the stammerer at a disadvantage, she says: "That child gets to college and hasn't had a chance to practise their skills like other students have." 

Speaking to people with a stammer from different countries and cultures, it is striking how similar some of their experiences are – both in of the pain they suffered through due to the prejudices of those around them, but also, the relief of no longer hiding it.

Jia Bin was born in a small village in Sichuan province in southwest China. Her parents were poor, and she felt she was adding to their burden when she began to stammer as a child.

"It came to a point where I hated myself," she says. "There were two forces in me – one was to communicate, the other was not to speak. I feel like I compromised a lot of my authenticity." 

Bin chose to leave China, and move to the US, partly because she feared her stutter would never be fully accepted at home. "I was holding down a job, I was married, I gave birth to my daughter before coming to America at 32. I completed what society wants a normal Chinese girl to do, but I was so miserable. There was a part of me crying for freedom. I'd never seen a successful person who stutters in China."

Bin now runs a stammer group on the Chinese social media platform WeChat, and is studying for a PhD in communicative sciences and disorders at Michigan State University. She no longer hides her stutter, and finds this freeing, but her family still struggles to accept it. Upon a recent trip to China, she decided to stammer openly for the first time at a family gathering. Older relatives gossiped and the children laughed at her. "If you were able to hide it for 30 years, why don't you continue to hide it for another 30 years">window._taboola = window._taboola || []; _taboola.push({ mode: 'alternating-thumbnails-a', container: 'taboola-below-article', placement: 'Below Article', target_type: 'mix' });